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  • [故事大全] []

    cc飞车官网:故事

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    时代感

    时间:2018-09-18 10:14 来源: cc竞速飞车登录网站 作者: 杨沁仪

        时代感
        有个小学生写了一篇作文,作文的开头是这样的:周日,我去公园玩,在公园门口花五分钱买了一根绿豆冰棍……
        老师看后批评他,说:"这是从老的作文书上抄的吧,写作文最起码要有时代感,现在哪还有五分钱的绿豆冰棍啊!"
        小学生点点头,不一会儿就把改好的作文又交给老师,上面写着:周日,我去公园玩,在公园门口买了一瓶矿泉水,一看生产日期是2009年9月22日……
        不可思议
        梅子
        有一位著名的魔术师,他表演的魔术节目让人叹为观止。这天,他又在舞台上表演了一个个精彩的魔术,台下的观众看得目瞪口呆,一时间空气仿佛凝固了。突然,魔术师打破了安静,问观众:"今天的表演最不可思议的,大家知道是什么吗?"
        观众面面相觑,陷入了思考。
        魔术师笑道:"最不可思议之处在于——魔术都表演完了,还没听到掌声!"
        班干部
        刘立
        儿子在学校是个班干部,这天班里重选了班干部。放学后,儿子兴高采烈地回到了家。妈妈见了,问:"看你这么高兴,一定还是连续当选班干部吧?"
        儿子笑嘻嘻地说:"没有,这次我什么职务都没选上。"妈妈不解地问:"那你还这么高兴?"
        儿子解释道:"我算是前领导,现在被称为‘退休干部了。"
        什么交往
        乃铭
        赵大妈回到家,见女儿女婿正在吵架,赵大妈问事情的起因,女婿解释说:"妈,是这样的,我昨晚和一个老同学去喝酒了……"赵大妈大度地说:"和老同学喝酒很正常啊,这都是人情交往嘛!"没想到女儿哭着嚷道:"妈,他昨晚是去和一个女同学喝酒了!"
        "什么?"这下赵大妈不高兴了,她瞪着一双大眼,冲着女婿嚷了起来,"你晚上去和女同学喝什么酒啊,这就不是人情交往了,这是情人交往!"
        花了多少钱
        李英梅
        几个遛狗的在一起谈论自己的狗。甲说:"我这条狗有英国血统,花了我四千多块!"
        乙说:"我这条狗有法国血统,花了我六千多块!"
        丙说:"我这条狗有意大利血统,花了我八千多块!"
        最后、丁说:"我这条狗没什么血统,可我花的钱都比你们多!"
        "怎么会?"大家看着丁那条不起眼的小土狗,都有些不相信,丁叹了口气,说:"是真的,这条狗去年把邻居咬了,我足足赔了人家一万多块!"
        集齐一套
        史顺利
        有个年轻人在看游泳比赛直播,他喜欢的一名运动员在这次比赛中,连拿了八枚金牌。年轻人欢呼雀跃道:"真厉害,连拿八金!"
        爱好集邮的爷爷问:"八金?这金牌是一样的吗?"
        年轻人被问得莫名其妙,说道:"那还用问?当然部是一模一样的金牌!"
        爷爷摇摇头,说道:"要是我,宁愿得一金一银一铜。从收藏的角度讲,还是收集齐一套比较好。"
        卡门
        董行
        磊子到新公司上班,发现办公室里美女如云,而且每个女同事都有个别致的外号。磊子看到自己对面的位手空着,于是问同事。同事说,这个位子是"卡门"的,这几天她正好请病假。磊子心想,"卡门"应该是一个有着西班牙风格的漂亮姑娘吧。
        几天后,"卡门"来上班了,磊子却大失所望,"卡门"竟是一个相貌平平、非常肥胖的姑娘。他带着疑惑偷偷问同事:"她就是卡门?"
        同事点头,说:"是呀,胖得都快把门卡住了!"
        晚年
        刘立
        新年已经过了一个多月,父母才带五岁的儿子起拜访一位朋友。见面后,父亲给儿子介绍:"这是王叔叔,给他拜个晚年吧!"
        儿子立即朝着王叔叔鞠了一个躬,很有礼貌地说:"祝王权叔晚年快乐!"
        爸爸是省长
        李彦锋
        老师正在帮一个小学生填写报名表格,她问:"你爸爸是干什么工作的?"
        小学生骄傲地说:"我爸爸是省长!"
        老师吓了一跳,问:"是哪个省的省长啊?"小学生回答道:"我上幼儿园的时候,爸爸从来不给我买玩具,能省就省,阿姨们都说我爸爸是最省钱的家长,后来就叫成了省长。"
        老师听了"哈哈"大笑,于是又问:"你爸爸到底是干什么工作的?"
        小学生又骄傲地说:"我爸爸是白领!"
        老师问:"是什么白领啊?"
        小学生大声地说:"每到月初,爸爸就把领了的工资全部交给妈妈,叔叔们都说我爸爸领了工资自己捞不着花,领了也是白领,后来就叫成了白领。"
        原因
        赵景亮
        有位女士在高速公路上超速行驶,但一辆辆轿车还是从她的车旁飞驰而过。
        突然,她听到警笛声从车后传来,交警命令她将车停靠在应急停车道内。
        交警走下警车一边检查她的驾驶证,一边问道:"小姐,你知道我为什么要让你的车停下来吗?"
        "我知道,警察先生,"这位女士生气地回答道,"因为别的车你一辆也撵不上!"
        快和慢
        杨沁仪
        那一天,蜗牛和猎豹在聊天。
        蜗牛望着猎豹强健的体魄,羡慕地说"动作快真是好呀,可是我……唉,上周末和女朋友去看电影,快开场的时候我去了趟洗手间,回来时电影都散场了,白买电影票了!"
        猎豹叹了口气,郁闷地说道:"这有什么!昨晚我饭后想散步,随便在马路上走了走就收了六张超速罚单,还被扣了12分,年内都不许走路了!"
        担心
        惊人
        大伟长相一般,几次相亲都没有成功,这次,大伟又要去相亲了,家里七大姨八大姑全体上阵,七手八脚地把他打扮了一番。
        大伟焕然一新了,老妈看了,说:"猪鼻子插葱,装象!"大伟不服气地说:"这叫包装!"
        老妈摇摇头,对着那些亲戚说:"咱是二等品,非要整成特等品,坑害消费者啊!"

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